Taking Time, Giving Grace: A Reminder We All Need
Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes, the recipe you had in mind gets tossed out the window, and you’re left improvising with whatever’s in the pantry (or your emotional reserves). Recently, I had one of those moments—plans were derailed, to-dos piled up, and I found myself needing to step back and show myself a little self-grace.
In this post, I want to share what that looked like for me: how I learned to embrace imperfection, the small ways I reminded myself it’s okay to pause, and why grace is the most nourishing ingredient we can offer ourselves. Whether you’re feeling burnt out or just need a moment to breathe, this is your reminder that taking time for yourself is okay—and maybe whip up something comforting while you’re at it.
My Journey to Giving Myself Grace
Recently, I found myself in a position where I honestly had to examine my relationship with self-care and grace. Initially, I had planned to take a couple of weeks off from my daily routine to focus on my mental health and re-energize. I envisioned this break as a short escape—time to unwind and reset. However, as the days turned into weeks, it became abundantly clear I needed far more time than I had anticipated. What began as a two-week hiatus organically expanded into an entire month off.
Rather than wrestling with guilt or self-judgment over this extended break, I embraced it as a necessary gift to myself. During this month, I delved into activities that nourished my spirit—reading books I'd long put off, enjoying leisurely walks in nature, and spending quality time with loved ones. Rather than viewing this time away as unproductive, I realized it was a productive act of self-care.
This experience reinforced for me that taking the time I needed wasn’t a sign of weakness or inadequacy; instead, it was a vital act of self-compassion. By prioritizing my well-being, I was better equipped to engage with the world around me, fostering deeper relationships and greater creativity in my work.
Embracing Grace: A Journey Through Self-Compassion
What is grace? It’s showing kindness, compassion, and understanding, even in difficult moments. It’s about offering goodwill and forgiveness to ourselves and others while embracing imperfections and the natural flow of life with patience and acceptance. The idea of self-grace makes grace even more profound.
Self-grace is the practice of treating ourselves with the same understanding, compassion, and forgiveness that we would naturally extend to our friends and loved ones. It means recognizing our humanity and the natural ebb and flow of life, allowing ourselves to navigate challenges without harsh self-criticism. Read that one more time.
What Does Self-Grace Look Like?
Self-grace looks different for different people at different times. At its core, it involves acknowledging our limits and allowing ourselves to take a breather when needed. For instance, it might mean giving yourself permission to pause during a hectic day to recharge and understanding that it’s okay not to be at your peak performance all the time. Self-grace may also manifest in forgiving yourself for past mistakes and understanding that everyone makes errors and that what matters is how we learn and grow from them.
Visualize a scenario where you may feel overwhelmed, perhaps juggling work, family obligations, and personal commitments. Instead of succumbing to the pressure and pushing yourself to meet unrealistic expectations, self-grace encourages you to take a step back. It’s a gentle reminder to check in with yourself: Are you tired? Stressed? Do you need some time to recharge? By recognizing your emotional and physical needs and responding to them with kindness, you embody self-grace.
Exploring Self-Grace: Addressing Common Questions
As we delve deeper into the concept of self-grace, it’s natural to have some questions about how to apply these principles in our own lives. Here are a few common inquiries that might arise:
What specific strategies can I implement to practice self-grace in my daily life?
Practicing self-grace involves small, intentional acts of kindness toward yourself. Start by reframing negative self-talk with compassionate reminders, like “I’m doing my best” or “It’s okay to make mistakes.” Set realistic expectations by breaking big goals into manageable steps and celebrating even the smallest wins. Allow yourself to rest without guilt, incorporating restorative activities like napping, meditating, or enjoying a favorite hobby. Forgive yourself for past mistakes, recognize they don’t define you, and set boundaries to protect your time and energy. Engage in self-compassion exercises, such as writing yourself a kind letter or practicing mindfulness to accept emotions without judgment. Prioritize joy by making time for things that make you happy, and embrace imperfection as a natural part of life. Finally, don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted friends or a therapist when you need encouragement. These practices can help you build a more compassionate relationship with yourself and navigate life with greater ease.
How can I overcome feelings of guilt when taking time for self-care?
It's important to recognize that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being. Reframing your mindset is key; remember that self-care is an investment in your mental, emotional, and physical health, enabling you to recharge and be more present in other areas of your life. Understand that rest isn’t a luxury but a necessity for overall balance and that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Challenge guilt-fueled beliefs like “I should always be productive” or “Others need me more than I need myself,” and consider reframing them to support your well-being.
Setting healthy boundaries with others and communicating your limits can also reduce guilt, as it ensures you respect your own needs. If self-care initially feels uncomfortable, start small by scheduling short moments for yourself and gradually building up. Practicing self-compassion is also crucial—remind yourself that you deserve to care for your body and mind. View guilt as a signal that your needs aren’t being met and use it to reflect on how to better care for yourself. Lastly, focus on the positive benefits of self-care, like feeling more energized, balanced, and focused, which can help you feel less guilty and more at ease when prioritizing yourself.
In what ways can self-grace impact my relationships with others?
Self-grace can significantly impact relationships by fostering empathy, understanding, and patience. When you practice self-compassion and forgiveness, you're more likely to extend those qualities to others, improving communication and reducing judgment. It also helps you set healthier boundaries without guilt, creating more balanced, respectful connections. As you become more accepting of your flaws, you develop greater empathy for others, which can reduce conflicts and encourage more constructive conversations. By modeling grace and compassion, you inspire those around you to do the same, promoting a ripple effect of kindness. Ultimately, self-grace helps build trust, strengthens emotional regulation, and nurtures deeper, more supportive relationships.
Finding Grace in the Kitchen
Self-grace isn’t limited to how we treat ourselves emotionally—it also extends to the everyday tasks we often feel pressured to perfect, such as cooking. In the kitchen, we may set high expectations for ourselves, believing that every meal should be aesthetically pleasing, gourmet, and absolutely flawless. However, embracing grace in the kitchen means shifting our perspective on what it means to cook.
What if we approached cooking as a joyful exploration rather than a task that demands perfection? I started applying self-grace to my cooking by allowing myself to experiment without the pressure of flawless execution. If a recipe didn’t turn out as expected or if I accidentally burned something, instead of feeling frustrated, I reminded myself that every misstep was an opportunity to learn.
Cooking became a creative outlet, a way to express myself, where I could play with flavors, textures, and techniques without fearing judgment. This shift in perspective allowed me to embrace the process, celebrating the joy of discovery rather than focusing on perfection. This relaxed approach transformed my experience in the kitchen. I found immense joy in preparing meals, feeling liberated to try new ingredients and learn from my culinary mishaps. I discovered that sharing meals with loved ones became even more special when I wasn’t solely focused on how the dishes appeared but on the connections we formed around the table.
Here are some recipes to try that incorporate self-grace and foster self-compassion:
Noodles with Veggies and Spicy Szechuan Peanut Sauce: A Journey of Flavor & Self-Love
Life can be challenging, and for me, practicing self-compassion and making Asian-inspired noodles are among the hardest things. When my husband and I first moved in together, I tried to impress him with a homemade Pad Thai, hoping to show off my cooking skills despite juggling two jobs and a master’s degree. But, when the dish didn’t turn out as planned—overwhelmed by too much peanut butter and with off flavors—I realized it was inedible. While we laughed it off and ordered takeout, the experience became an inside joke. Over time, it shifted from embarrassment to a lesson in self-compassion. The "Pad Thai Fiasco" taught me that embracing imperfections, laughing at mistakes, and letting go of unrealistic expectations is okay.
A Fresh Start: Pancakes for Self-Compassion and Healing
One morning, after reflecting on the week's minor missteps, I decided to do something to release those feelings. I reached for a mixing bowl and began making pancakes, finding comfort in the simplicity of the process—the measured flour, the warm cinnamon, and the ease of the batter coming together. As I whisked, I imagined each stir as a release of one worry after another, reminding myself to treat myself with the same tenderness I would show a loved one. Watching the pancakes cook, I told myself, "I can start fresh," and with each bite, I affirmed my self-compassion. These pancakes have become a symbol of self-forgiveness, a little ritual reminding me that each day offers a fresh start.
Grace in a Bowl: Lentil & Sweet Potato Stew for the Soul
Many of my clients acknowledge that they should give themselves grace, but putting it into practice is much more complex than it sounds. I’ve been there, too, berating myself for not having everything perfectly together. Grace isn’t something you achieve once and move on from—it’s a daily practice, a reminder that we’re all a work in progress. This is embodied in my experience making Lentil and Sweet Potato Stew, where preparing it became an act of self-care. The focus wasn’t on perfection but on nourishing myself and enjoying the journey. So, the next time you face self-doubt or a kitchen mishap, remember that grace is about showing up for yourself and embracing the process. That alone is enough.
Conclusion
Integrating the principles of grace—especially self-grace—into our lives can significantly shift our perspective on self-compassion and personal growth. It encourages us to be gentler with ourselves, take much-needed breaks, and foster a positive relationship with our daily activities, such as cooking. In moments of overwhelm or uncertainty, we can remind ourselves to pause, breathe, and embrace the journey ahead. After all, it’s through grace that we learn to navigate the complexities of life with gracefulness and ease.
