The Truth About Self-Care: What It Is & How to Make It Yours

Self-Care Myths

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Self-Care Myths |

Self-Care Isn’t What You Think

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Fancy face masks? Maybe a weekend yoga retreat? While these can be forms of self-care, the truth is that self-care isn’t about luxury—it’s about sustainability. Read that part again. It’s the small, intentional ways you take care of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being, especially during the chaotic holiday season.

In this post, we’ll break down some common myths about self-care, explore what it really means, and share practical ways to integrate it into your life, including a cozy recipe for Brown Butter Apple Cider Donuts and a fun felt gingerbread garland craft.

Myth #1: Self-Care is Selfish.

The Truth: Self-care is essential, not selfish.
Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as your best self for others. Whether it’s setting boundaries, saying no to that holiday party, or carving out time for quiet moments, self-care helps you recharge so you can be fully present. We’ve been conditioned to believe that putting our needs first is wrong, but the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean you’re neglecting others; it means you’re ensuring you have the energy, clarity, and emotional bandwidth to show up fully. During the holidays, it’s easy to feel pulled in every direction, trying to meet everyone’s expectations. But taking time for yourself—whether it’s enjoying a creative project, savoring a quiet moment, or simply saying “no”—isn’t selfish. It’s a necessary act of self-love that allows you to bring your best self to everything else.

Myth #2: Self-Care Requires a Lot of Time or Money.

The Truth: Self-care is often free and simple.
Self-care doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag. In fact, some of the most impactful self-care practices are completely free or very affordable. The idea that self-care requires expensive spa treatments, lavish products, or exclusive experiences is a myth. True self-care is about nurturing your mind, body, and spirit in ways that feel restorative to you. It can be as simple as taking a walk in nature, enjoying a cup of tea, reading a book, journaling, or practicing deep breathing exercises. These activities don’t cost much, but they offer immense value by allowing you to slow down, reflect, and recharge. Even creative hobbies like cooking, crafting, or organizing your space can be incredibly restorative. The key to self-care is not the price tag but the intention behind the activity—choosing what makes you feel centered, peaceful, and whole, no matter your budget.

Myth #3: Self-Care is Always Relaxing.

The Truth: Self-care can be challenging.
Self-care isn’t always about relaxation or pampering; sometimes, it can be downright challenging. True self-care means confronting uncomfortable truths, setting boundaries, and making decisions that prioritize your well-being, even when they’re hard. It might involve saying “no” to commitments that drain you, having difficult conversations with loved ones, or pushing yourself to address underlying emotional or physical needs. These acts can stir up resistance, guilt, or discomfort, but they are critical for long-term health.

For example, taking care of your mental health might mean seeking therapy, confronting past trauma, or confronting self-destructive patterns. Similarly, physical self-care might require the discipline to exercise or the courage to address chronic health issues. These forms of self-care aren’t always easy, but they are transformative. They require strength, honesty, and vulnerability—qualities that, though challenging to embrace, lead to lasting growth and healing. So, while self-care often looks like rest and relaxation, it’s also about making tough choices that align with your true needs.

Myth #4: Not Everyone Has Time for Self-Care.

The Truth: Self-care takes intention.

We live in a culture that celebrates busyness, productivity, and constant motion, making it feel as though there’s never a moment to simply pause and care for ourselves. But the truth is, self-care isn’t about carving out hours of your day—it’s about recognizing the small, simple ways you can prioritize yourself, even in the midst of a packed schedule.

Take, for instance, the practice of mindful breathing. It takes just a few minutes but can make a world of difference in how you feel throughout the day. Or maybe self-care for you looks like listening to your favorite song while you cook dinner, taking a few minutes of quiet time before bed to reflect on the day, or even doing a short stretch or walk during a lunch break. These moments don’t require hours of free time or a significant commitment, but they allow you to reset and reconnect with yourself, which is exactly what self-care is all about.

When we say "I don’t have time," what we’re really saying is, "I haven’t prioritized myself." The key is to shift that narrative. You don’t have to take a whole day off or plan an extravagant ritual—start with small, intentional moments of self-care. Whether it’s five minutes of deep breathing, a quick phone call to a friend for support, or saying no to something that drains you, each small act adds up. The truth is, self-care doesn’t take a lot of time—it just takes intention.

So, What Does Self-Care Look Like?

“Self-care is personal. It’s about doing what makes you feel good—what fills your cup. At its essence, self-care is about returning to yourself and engaging in activities that genuinely nurture your well-being.”

In my search for answers to the question, "What does self-care look like?" I was amazed by the diversity of responses. Self-care is a deeply personal practice that takes many forms, and it can be as unique as the person practicing it. Some shared that for them, self-care is found in quiet mornings with a cup of coffee, while others find peace in reading a good book or getting lost in creative activities like baking or crafting. For many, self-care is about movement—whether through yoga or a morning jog—while others find it in setting healthy boundaries or connecting with loved ones. Some even described self-care as emotional release, whether it's crying or journaling to process their feelings.

It became clear that self-care isn't a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s about finding what restores you—whether that's through stillness, creativity, or connection with others. It can be as simple as curling up with a book or as invigorating as hitting the trails for a hike in nature. It might entail prioritizing a serene evening of meditation or indulging in a long, rejuvenating bath after a chaotic day. For some, it’s the satisfaction of preparing a comforting meal; for others, it’s the thrill of embracing a new hobby. What resonates with me most is the reminder that self-care is not about perfection or a checklist; it’s about tuning in to what makes us feel more like ourselves and giving ourselves permission to embrace it.

The most important aspect is to listen to your body and mind. Identify what truly rejuvenates you. What activities bring you joy and fulfillment? When you consciously choose to fill your cup, you reclaim your energy and vitality. This personalized approach is non-negotiable; it reinforces the fact that you are a unique individual with specific needs.

Self-care is also dynamic. What serves you well now may not resonate in the future. Life changes, experiences evolve, and your mood can shift; therefore, it's crucial to regularly assess and adapt your self-care routine. Don’t shy away from reassessing your needs.

Ultimately, self-care is about honoring yourself unapologetically. It is your commitment to prioritize your needs, which, in turn, enables you to show up more fully for others in your life. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s an essential component of living a balanced and fulfilling life. Take the time to reflect on what allows you to return to your true self, and make space for those activities. Your well-being demands it.

Self-care for me often comes in the form of creativity—whether that’s through crafting or experimenting in the kitchen. There’s something deeply therapeutic about using my hands to create, whether it's shaping dough for apple cider donuts or crafting a beautiful gingerbread garland. These activities allow me to disconnect from the outside world and immerse myself in the process, focusing on the present moment and bringing a little piece of joy into my day.

The act of making something, whether it’s a delicious treat or a homemade decoration, not only sparks my creativity but also reminds me to nurture my own needs. It’s a simple, yet powerful way to reconnect with myself. If you're looking for something to try, check out my recipes for brown butter apple cider donuts and gingerbread garland—they’re the perfect way to add a little handmade magic to your self-care routine!

Tips for Holiday Self-Care

Set Realistic Expectations
The holidays can bring pressure to do it all—decorate, host, shop, and spread cheer. (I’m totally guilty of this one). Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on what’s truly important to you. It’s okay if everything doesn’t look like a magazine cover. Let go of perfection and embrace the moments that matter most to you. You don’t have to attend every event or make every gift from scratch. Give yourself permission to do less.

Prioritize Rest
Spending time with people who make you feel good, whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers is great, but there is nothing like spending time with yourself. Amid the holiday excitement, don’t forget to rest. Schedule time to relax, whether it’s an afternoon nap, a cozy evening with a book, or simply sitting in silence with a cup of tea. Rest is essential for keeping your energy levels up and maintaining emotional balance.

Be Mindful of Your Needs
Listen to your body and mind. Are you craving rest, movement, or something creative? Honor those needs. Even if it’s just a short walk or a quick stretch, physical movement can help alleviate stress and boost your mood. Movement also helps keep your energy up and reduces tension that can build during the busy season.

Take Breaks
Even five minutes of deep breathing or stretching can help you feel more centered. Sometimes, it’s the small moments that provide the most joy—savoring a warm drink, enjoying your favorite holiday music, or watching a movie that brings comfort. These moments don’t require much effort but can do wonders for your mood. & take breaks from social media! With the constant stream of holiday posts, social media can quickly become overwhelming. Consider taking a social media break or limiting your time online to avoid comparison and burnout. Focus on being present in the real world around you.

Create Holiday Traditions Just for You

While it’s wonderful to participate in family traditions, consider creating a holiday ritual that’s just for you. Whether it’s baking your favorite treat, going for a winter walk, or lighting a candle each evening, having a personal tradition can help you feel grounded and connected to yourself.

Set Boundaries with Family and Friends

The holidays can sometimes come with expectations from family and friends. It’s okay to say no if you need time for yourself. Setting clear boundaries ensures you protect your energy and don’t overextend yourself.

Let Go of Guilt

Self-care during the holidays sometimes requires letting go of guilt—guilt about saying no, guilt about not being everywhere at once, or guilt for taking time to yourself. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish, but necessary for your well-being.

Stay Present

The holidays can rush by in a blur of activities. Make an effort to be present in the moments you cherish most—whether it's a conversation with a loved one, watching a holiday movie, or simply enjoying the beauty of the season. Focusing on the present helps you stay grounded and appreciate the small joys around you. Take a few moments each day to write down things you’re thankful for, whether big or small. Gratitude helps shift your mindset and brings a sense of peace amidst the busyness.

Closing Thoughts

Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. It’s about the small, meaningful ways you take care of yourself, especially during the busy holiday season. So, whether it’s baking donuts, crafting a garland, or simply saying “no” to an extra obligation, remember: self-care is about you, for you.

What are your favorite ways to practice self-care during the holidays? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear!